Really? SWEEEEEEEEET! Sorry, but I'm a big fan of the story and have been waiting ages for the update. I'll of course try not to get too excited or let my expectations reach critical, or else I might get disappointed. But I have faith in the next chapter, I really do.
Well me and my super awesome, gryph-hypster editor Lesolan are editing the chapters that came out after the prologue and chapter 1. But there have been some small and major changes in these first two chapters that won't make any sense in the later ones until they've been edited.
So I unpublished the Fimfiction chapters and made the Gdoc's links private until the other chapters are edited. Then I'll make them available for the public to view again. These are major and minor changes, if it was just minor stuff I wouldn't have bothered keeping the later chapters private/unavailable.
Ah, does sound like a fair bit of work ahead for you then.
But what I meant was, why would you consider yourself insane? Like that nerdy blue pillow of an author openly admits she's bipolar, which is probably why she can write a first person perspective of Aurora so well.
Colours are good, the characters are all more saturated and detailed than the background, the points where my eyes first focused were Scraps, the claw and the sentry's head.
Composition-wise I think it might have been better to have Aurora be closer to the viewer -no, not to get a better view of her plot! Everything feels as if it's on the middle ground, Yes there is some depth but it's too subtle Putting Aurora closer and slightly to the right might have made her a bigger part of the piece (and not only literally). This vid explains it a bit better than I do at the moment: [link]
The framing is ALMOST good too, the boxes and the chain in the foreground do a good job of framing the picture, but then there is that gaping hole of nothing in the top-right corner. Maybe if you made that iron bar there bigger it would have cut the picture better. Again a vid: [link]
The designs are of course bitching awesome as usual. The mood is very good as well, really feels like they are doing something. I also like the detail you put in their manes and tail~
And thank you. That was a very helpful critique. I had originally intended to have Aurora standing as you suggest, but embarrassingly, that got away from me. You're right though, she needs to overlap more/stand further from the robot. I can easily fix the framing elements too.
Once I get home, I'm going to try hitting this pic again and see if I can't fine tune it. Thanks again!
Alright I know I'm not the only one thinking it, but rather than taking the cheap route and making a "Dat Plot" comment I'm going to instead focus in the seriously awesome shading and textures of this pic. I mean holy crap just look at those details! I can actually see the bits wear and corrosion on the bot!
Always nice to see Aurora and Scraps too. I've been keeping my finger crossed for chapter 10 for quite some time now.
This is awesome on so many levels that to acknowledge them all is to court insanity. Looks fabulous Mech, I'm guessing Scraps is repairing a pony Securitron as it looks too well made and logical to be one of Scraps's home-made scrapbots. Plus I've been playing New Vegas obsessively and can instantly recognize one of them. Nice work on Aurora, I like her mane and colours, feather details are superb and above par as usual with your work .
Good choice of goggles for Scrap Heap, I always kinda imagined them as motorcycle ones with the two circular lenses, but one big black visor one is 20% cooler and more unique and retro, like the 80's. I like Scraps's design and how well you paid attention to little things about her, such as her hair colour, hair braid and greasy hoofs that never get anything dirty EVER! Also Aurora's expression seems understandably nervous, given that her first experience with robots nearly killed her.
The Securitron design is excellently ponified, containing equine features but managing to look extremely menacing, even when still in assembly. I also love how it has to be put together, kinda like a big Christmas toy/action figure... Except it has deadly shoulder guns and claws/feelers/hands that could crush a pony's head.
It's actually a heavilly modified ultra sentinel, the one that appeared in the first chapter. Sentinels are like the sentries of fallout, with the big weakness being up close and personal foes, so I made the theory that sentinels also share this weakness. Scraps, spotting this weakness, attatched arms to one.
This one looks more well made because over the decades she's upgraded and carefully maintained it, what's happening here is they're taking it apart and doing routine maintenence and upgrading it with a second weapon.
Also as Arsenal pointed out, her goggles are made from the helmet of steel rangers power armour, so I imagined them being more visor style like this. As you can guess from that, they aren't just to hide her eyes, if you're familiar with some of the bells and whistles power armour has.
I meant sentry bots not Securitrons. Those damn Securitrons are on my mind at the moment XD As I said, playing New Vegas excessively, a Sentry Bot seems a lot less threatening than they used to be in Fallout 3. Maybe I should play that game again for awhile. Yeah I'm also familiar with the power armour of Fallout. Been so long since I read New Beginnings, Illushia's taking quite awhile to update it. I'm a little scared it'll be a 30k beast of a chapter for some reason.
Yeah, Sentries were the baddest bots around in Fallout 3. I think the only other robot that kinda unnerves players is the Brainbots, I mean are they powered by Monkey brains, dog brains, human brains or synthetic ones. (Nopony knows, or wants to know XD.)Didn't like the voice's of the Mr.Gutsy's but I do like that their is more variety than just the unique robot voice's.